This Floating Excrement Was Way Too Meaningful! These Are the TV Disappointments of the Past Year.

Looking back, we reflect on the TV offerings of the past year, a handful of series stand out not for their brilliance, but for their spectacular failures. Ranging from cringe-inducing sequels to bafflingly bad docuseries, here are the programmes that left us utterly bewildered or simply reaching for the remote.

And Just Like That

Where to begin with this love/hate spin-off? Burdened with dreadful writing, painful character development (justice for Miranda!), and a mere 71 seconds of fan-favourite Samantha, the series struggled to find its footing. Briefly, as the final series started, it looked like it had at last found its groove. Then arrived an episode centered on Seema’s natural deodorant. Little surprise the creator declared this would be the last series. It ended on a bum note; the closeup of Miranda’s loo flooded with poo was just way too on-the-nose. Yet, fans undeniably had a hoot dissecting every single “what on earth?” moment. And as Carrie – once again single – twirled around her sprawling townhouse to Barry White, who couldn't let out a little sob?

The Kim Kardashian Drama

‘Can Kim Kardashian act? The answer is a resounding no.’

But that was practically the smallest of this show's issues. The recipient of a exceedingly uncommon zero star review, it was difficult to know where to start enumerating the flaws. The laughably wooden writing? The mind-numbing glorification of wealth and materialism? The seemingly wilful procession of tropes? Performances so poor they felt borderline spiteful? Suffice it to say “all of the above” and forget about this show again. However, a new season has been commissioned, so we’re probably going to have to.

AKA Charlie Sheen

Given the legal troubles, domestic violence claims and parental shortcomings, it’s reasonable to say Charlie Sheen has been a bad boy. Not you’d really have known it from this three-part docuseries which smirked its way at Sheen’s various episodes of reckless excess while struggling to tell us anything we didn’t already know. Rather, it felt as if this volatile personality was being pandered to, so any pity this series might induce should be saved for the people who have had to endure close contact with this charismatic but dismissive narcissist.

The Supercomputer Drama

Naturally we understood it was preposterous from the outset: a drama about a supercomputer known as Charlie Big Potatoes that could either solve global crises – or annihilate all of humanity. We persevered out of pure admiration for its leads … but by the end, it felt like even they had given up trying. One barely cared when his character died, and the other ended up hacking Charlie with an axe … in painfully slow-motion. That's what you call giving up the ghost.

MobLand

Shady figures meeting in deserted boxing gyms? The Prodigy’s Firestarter jackhammering away in club scenes? The late 90s called and wants its gangland drama back.

In truth, that is harsh on the crime shows of the late 90s. Many seem a little dated now, but at least they didn’t suffer the embarrassment of having to accommodate unconvincing dialects. But there were plenty of other problems. Primarily that it was just profoundly dull; a conflict over drug-selling territory between various London picaresques which seemed a bit basic.

The Meghan Markle Series

Given the degree to which she grinds the gears of the nation’s performatively angry commentators, it’s temptingly easy to applaud the Duchess of Sussex’s various forays into twee lifestyle as intentional provocations. But then you view them and are forced to concede that in this case, they may have a point. It’s like watching a homeware catalogue animated; a poster for wine o’clock with delusions of grandeur; a procession of snoozing dogs, humming beehives, Hallmark sayings and pointless crafting “hacks” you’ll forget instantly. All supported by immense, mostly unearned wealth. Ugh.

Victoria Beckham

There are clearly interesting things to be discussed about both Victoria Beckham and her struggles with career, identity, self-worth. But for some reason, this documentary series opted not to say them. Instead, the viewing was like reading a marketing catalogue. She obviously has every right to bridle at what she describes as her “miserable cow” image. But unfortunately, she failed to do herself any favours with this cagey non-event of a series.

The Game Show

It had the potential to be the next big hit – except even more extravagant, with a famous star as a deceased benefactor and a sharp-tongued personality overseeing her estate. What more could you want? As contestants competed, there was plenty of betrayal and arguing. But the rules quickly became bewildering: it’s still too confusing to detail what exactly was happening. Even more disappointingly, we only saw glimpses of the star via prerecorded videos. The show ended up smelling of a programme that was trying way too hard to emulate something far greater than it.

The Lena Dunham Romcom

How does one follow a show that captured a generation? The expectation was enormous for this glitzy romcom about Jessica, a rosy-eyed New Yorker who arrives in London with a shattered romance. The lead actress seized the opportunity by the horns and was joyous to watch, reveling in Jane Austen levels of romantic ideals. But it was all very slick and, ironically, was insufficient. Plus, the abundance of famous cameos involved felt uncomfortable.

Mitchell & Webb Are Not Helping

Not even good enough to be ‘uneven’.

Given the shrewd inclusion of gifted younger comics, hopes were high. But sadly, most of it didn’t land. A recurring sketch was a single joke milked to a dry pulp but repeated in every episode. One star seemed too willing to slip into a well-known irate mode. The behind-the-scenes sketches, in contrast, simply inspired the thought that they should probably have stayed in there a while longer.

The Twisted Tale of Amanda Knox

This retelling of the story of Amanda Knox was executive produced by Amanda Knox and pretty much solely presented the viewpoint of Amanda Knox. So, while there probably is an compelling drama to be made about the horrific 2007 murder, this isn’t it. The material needed to be treated with care. Instead, the series laboured awkwardly to find the right tone, lurching from strangely jaunty, somewhat stylised farce to ultimately, real-life horror. Complex? Arguably. A complete mess? Absolutely.

The Maths Genius Thriller

We admire the lead actor … but did we believe him playing the greatest maths genius since, a man so intelligent he’s on the brink of a discovery that could ruin society? Nope! This international thriller about secret services spying on – and killing off – academics honestly got more farcical by the second. Formulaic nonsense.

The Bonnie Blue Documentary

This uncritical portrait followed the content creator notorious for sexual exploits as she undertook her biggest challenge yet. What on earth would possess her? What we wanted was way more examination of her actual psyche, plus those of the men in the queue. They could at least have interviewed the legendary mum who showed up to drag her son away from the queue. What we got was horrific shots and absolutely no critical analysis of her notoriety whatsoever. It's staggering to consider, the filmmaker has a young daughter too.